majoring in chemistry to be a writer. Go figure.

do u noe y salary is called salary?
was reading my food n health text book today called " Nutrition Now"
n its derived fr a latin word salarium
which literally means " salt money"

it seems tt long b4 u n i were born
dere was sum gigantic fuss n fights n wars over salt mountains
cos salt was very rare last time
so if u managed 2 get a bunch of salt in ur pocket
its equivalent 2 stashing ur pocket wif cold hard cash!!!

Haha dun we all hope now
that we can march right up to the kitchen counter n fill our pockets wif table salt
den swagger on e streets of orchard like sum rich tai tais
in sum lao pok tshirts n red nj shorts
n have dose zhuai sales gals in paragon decked up in e latest designs n creases all filled wif powder
flash deir fakest smiles at us?

What a lovely thought!!!
Im tinkling with excitement alr im so bad haha

wanna dedicate dis entry 2 dear hanna
who helped me asked abt e ridge thing
tho i think erm my stuff will nt appear inside
cos im too crazy 2 write abt decent sch stuff

hahas but it jus felt very encouraging
2 hav sum1 supporting me 2 pursue my writing dream
n yup i realli felt very touched
n warmed when han 1st msged me on e fateful rainy day

for hans n my sake
ill keep e hope burning
n dedicate my 1st piece of work 2 han n all e wunderful frens fr s27
thanx 4 believing in me

Saw on e news yest
tt in sum countries
things like red wine and lil piglets
can be used for mortage!!!

Now look at this man!!!
wats e world turning into?
well at least dis is better den e beasts in thailand who mortage deir poor young daughters as prostitutes!!! Lotsa dese parents borrow $ on e freaking pretext of taking care of deir kids....when e real reason is dey dun wanna go down to e fields to plough( according to e tour guide dere)

U noe wat?
I think tt a law should be passed in Thailand such tt e loan sharks can accept organs n body parts of e BORROWER as mortage n not any suay kia related to dem
so tt the inhuman parents can try thinking wif deir elbows or ribs before dey borrow $ 2 gamble away...den end up losing deir kidney or heart or brain ( oh my, so sorry, i forgot dese people no longer have deir hearts or brains anymore)

Come on kids r brought up by u
dey owe u sth
but not deir life
deir life was given 2 dem by God yea
so stop using dis 2 threaten them
its heinous

was wif jess at e ladies yest
n she went in 2 wash her hands after eating
she was half way thru lathering her hands
when she suddenly burst out laffing
cos she got e order wrong...shld go toilet 1st den wash hands

a very simple incident
but i cant help being reminded that order of the actions we take n e decisions we make can be so important
I got e order wrong too
deciding on a uni course 1st then finding out where my passion truly lies

n now im being punished
paying for my mistake wif my youth
for dose living in ur ivory white tower
welcome to reality

If I could I'll swallow u whole
n leave only ur bones n teeth
so that we can see what's underneath
n then u'll be free
I thought at first that only tears could set free

heard e above lyrics on 93.8 today
n i tot its kinda gothic but really beautiful
i wish someone could show me
who i am underneath too

dun b sad tt u onli hav 3 leaves
if u had 4 leaves, u would have been picked away by others

let me be ur 4th leave
let me complete u

in others eyes u might not be perfect
but in mine,
u're the most beautiful clover that ever existed

---From the Korean Movie " My Brother"

wat wld u do if u cld fly 1 day?
wld u be happy jus 2 fly at roof level?
wld u fly alongside e doves?
wld u go go beyond e clouds
n compete with planes?

or wld u fly so close 2 e sun tt ur wings get burnt
jus lyk Icarus' wings dropping off?

Mayb its impt 2 hav dreams so high up we cant fulfill
even at e expense of hurting ourselves
for e body can b hurt
but not e heart
once e heart aches
it may neva recover again

messages in bottles
is a very beautiful notion

they carry wif dem the hope of being picked up and read by someone
yet dis dream they noe, has only a glimmer of being fulfilled

e person who left the message
wishes to put down his/her loneliness in e bottle
so tt someone on another shore far far away in the world
could pick up his feelings at that point of time

e person who pick up the bottle
wonder who left e msg n wat kinda of msg it is
it may b a prank
it may b a call 4 help
it may be someone looking for another similar one
it may jus be someone with something to say
it doesnt matter

i guess e idea of leaving something for someone of to pick up the message out of his/her own desire is wonderful
Love shld be like message in a bottle
it cannot be forced
only time and fate can bring the right one to you

realised lately tt i luv 2 synchronise my footsteps wif tt of e person walking rite in front of me
its reflex action, sumthing instinctive

y do i do it u ask?
haha im not sure of e reason myself either

but sumtimes it just makes me feel safe to follow the footsteps of sum1 in front
mayb bcos for it jus feels magical to be able to walk the foot steps of e stranger
even if its only for a few minutes or seconds
a connection is made
n it feels great 2 noe tt my path has intersected wif sum1 else
to have walked together wif a particular stranger X out of billions of people
I guess tts wat fate is all about

my world's spinning so fast
n so out of control lately
it feels as if i hav 2 put down my tots in words
as a mark of my existence
which is so pathetic

Things dun hav 2 b dis way
i noe it
i credit all e blame 2 every1 n everything abt me
but deep down i noe
tt my weakness is e onli thing holding me back

Life is really like a roller coaster nowadays
a roller coaster on a never-ending track
wif no one at the control panel
i wish
sum1 will come along n tell me
everything will b alrite

i hate my life
i realli hate it
realli
i wish i can transfer dis 2 sumthing else
i wish i can b happy
not after e exams
not in e hols
i mean right now
if i can b happy in dis whole crap situation
i noe sumthings will change

hav u ever take a peek out of ur window at e sg night view
took a breather yest nite at 4am fr studying
n looked out of my window 8 storeys high

i scanned e streets
dere was no1 walking ard
no buses no cars
jus e occasional bike wheezing by
n e sad wailing of a neighbourhood stray

sth caught my eye
e bus stop which i normally wait for my bus
e bus stop which was either bustling wif chatters of pri sch kids n deir maids
e bus stop which imaptient taxi drivers alight deir passengers n honk at any1 at e stop if dey wan a ride

it seemed so...
lonely
so peaceful
so solitary
standing by itself
e moonlight casting its soft glow
n e blurred lites of the bus stop itself illuminating the orange benches
as if always welcoming sum1 2 take shelter in it

sumthings r always dere 4 us
but whether we see it or not
is another issue
sum of us choose not 2 c it
sum of us hav no time nor mood 2 appreciate it
sum of us saw it, appreciated it n 4get abt it e nxt day dey wake up
yet dey will always b dere 4 us

do dey get a reward 4 doing so?
mayb yes mayb no
who noes
bus stops r wunderful shelters
for any1 n every1

watched world trade centre
by myself as a bdae gift on fri 20oct
it rox
it so totally blew me away

n i had 2 admit
i was crying lyk mad fr e beginning 2 e end

its jus tt
e idea of hanging on despite onli seeing a pinprick of light
makes me sad
makes me wonder if im as strong
makes me amazed at our limits
how ple unite in trials n triabulations
no matter wat differences we have in our daily life

cos ple help each other for no other reason den its e correct thing 2 do
i din give up on u
dun u ever dare give up on me

to all e ple who passed away at e WTC
u r in my prayers
god bless

n 2 all e rescuers who helped
u guys rox!!!

recently
i found tt 4 e 1st time in my life
i cared abt sum1 neva e way i cld

mayb im growing up finally
a mark of me turning 20
mayb its jus tt sum1
who lurks behind my mind
lyk a perfume lingering in e room after e wearer has left

at e front centre of my brain
is my writing dream
surrounding e front center
r my family...kit...chew...teo..han..siok..joyce..eelin...boo...royston n all e gr8 s27 ple
at e sides
is my spastic chem course
which im trying 2 pull my arse out of asap

n at e back
is tt special sum1

but for now
i luv e ples at e front more
i guess ill always luv dem more haha
its jus e way things work
Always

things i wanna get done
dun get done

dreams tt i aspire 2 fulfill
seems so far away at e positive infinity pt
n im still struggling
at negative infinity
trying 2 get my pathetic degree regardless of wadeva shit i get
so i can b free
n take up writing courses
only when i grad can i b at e starting pt

n even den
deep down inside
i noe tt
ill succumb 2 e overwhelming tide of peer n parental pressure

i wun let tt happen
nt 2 me
i noe wat i want
its jus dere i jus hav 2 reach out 4 it
dun ever try 2 hinder me
no one can do tt
i promise
on my name

im bored
very bored
how bored u ask
jus bored
u noe
wif everything
n myself

e above often pass by our minds
but have u realli tot abt wat boredom exactly is?
i mean
y r we unhappy when we have things 2 do
n we moan n wail tt e work is too much n too tough

n when we hav nth 2 do
we r still unhappy?
u mean work can b easy n fun?
den it wun b called work

tts called play

i guess e feeling of boredom
comes abt from a feeling of dread combined wif a sense of loss
i mean yea we all noe fr peer pressure n social conventions
tt every1 ought 2 hav sum goal in deir life
n when we dun hav
we sorta get confused lyk lil sheeps without e shepherd
but yet at e same time being able 2 do wadeva u wan gives u a sense of authority n power
n u noe u cant hold on to it so u get scared of losing it
u dreas e moment when u hav 2 work ur butt off again

i guess tts wat boredom means 2 me
haha go figure

when everything settles down 2 e bottom
jus lyk how precipate settle 2 e bottom of e test tube
all e tots emotions feelings n troubles
seem 2 consolidate upon each other

n sum memories become compressed
under e weight of e incoming memories
some of dese memories may b lost in e process
some of dose are important parts of us
special moments in our life when we connect wif others

n 4 dose who have passed by our lives once upon a time
no matter how impt
will nt be tot of at all times
n many of deir footprints on our heart
will disappear wif e storms n winds tt we hav 2 tide thru

everybody likes to noe dey r unique in deir own special way
n tt dey r e world 2 sum1
but sumtimes its gd 2 realise e otherwise truth
so tt if sum1 realli remember n think of u amidst all e tribulations
tt is much more precious den anything else in e world

sumtimes i cant even accomplish e easiest of things
a sense of helplessness overwhelms me
n i feel immesely inadequate in dis big world

i start running away fr my mistakes
afraid 2 noe y n where i went wrong
how cld any1 bear 2 do tt 2 demselves, i question e stars above

den i realise tt if i loved myself more
i wld allow myself 2 make mistakes
n cherish all e bad memories n nitemares
4 all dese bits n pieces make up lia dun dey?

these tots make me at peace wif myself
n when peace is present in ur heart
u may jus chance upon a link btw ur heart
n dis vast world

went fairy-sparklers-playing wif teo at her hall last sat
fairy sparklers when held in ur own hands
r sticks aglow radiating mini stars of colours so splendid i cldnt take my eyes off dem
when teo threw e fairy sparklers in to e air
n i took a step back
4 e 1st time in my life
i witnessed a meteor rain shower
it may be artificial
but somehow the impact of the scene stole my breath away
n raw emotions welled up in me

sometimes putting urself in others shoes
will make u understand y he/she did wat she did
n mayb our hearts may open up to dem
n to ourselves at e same time
for taking a step back and forgiving others
means empathy towards self

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do u noe y salary is called salary?was reading my ...
wanna dedicate dis entry 2 dear hanna who helped m...
heinous heinous heinous crimes
order!!
underneath....
4 leaf clover
fly wings fly!!!
message in a bottle
footsteps
my world's spinning so fastn so out of control lat...

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